(originally posted June 3, 2017)
Slice of life story:
We all know what we are supposed to do when life hands us lemons, BUT… do we know what to do when life is in a mood and simply will not hand them over? What then?
Tomorrow is our extended family’s monthly Sunday dinner, and it’s my turn to host. My parents, Auntie Denise, and my brothers and their families will all come for a monthly FHE. Besides the BBQ’d chicken tenders, we will also be making my mother’s irresistible homemade lemon ice cream, and no, I will not tell you what time dinner is. Much as I love you all, I just can’t feed you all. ;)
Clearly, lemons will be on my grocery list.
Friday morning is traditionally the day I take my mother to get groceries. The first Friday of the month, we also hit Costco. Yesterday was the first Friday of the month, so yes – we hit both Winco AND Costco.
ATTEMPT ONE: I’m at Winco, where there are plenty of lemons. But no, I need many lemons, because I also drink this potion every morning with the juice of half a lemon in it. This potion has affectionately been nicknamed the Kevorkian drink, because we’re pretty sure it was his idea. So, in the presence of the lemons, I make the conscious decision to reject them all in favor of the large bags of lemons I know await me at Costco.
ATTEMPT TWO: I’m at Costco, where there USUALLY plenty of lemons. But no, not today. There is not a single lemon in the store. When I asked the lemon guy, he said they’d sold out in one day. When I expressed mild surprise, Lemon Guy gave me a look that clearly communicated, “You do know you’re in a Costco, don’t you?” He hastens to tell me they’re getting more lemons, but not until later in the day – 5:00 or 6:00. You know – the time we all love to go to Costco.
ATTEMPT THREE: After unloading two trips of groceries at my mother’s house, and two trips of groceries at my own house, I’m feeling fainthearted about going back to Costco for a big bag of lemons. Stacie’s a good sport; maybe she’ll come with me. We set out for Costco a little after 7:30 p.m., because seriously – go to Costco around 5:00 or 6:00? – are you nuts? And I kid you not – NO. LEMONS. Lemon Guy #2 affirms, yeah, none came in today. By now, thanks to flowering pear trees (DO NOT ASK), it’s too late to go to Sam’s Club, where Stacie has a card; why don’t we just run over in the morning after we walk in the park? Super idea - the Quest for the Holy Grail Lemons continues.
ATTEMPT FOUR: It’s Saturday morning, the walk in the park was everything it should be, Stacie is proud to have remembered her “cards”, and we are off to Sam’s! We get there, jump out of the car, this mission is finally down to search and destroy mode, when I hear Stacie gasp from the other side of the car. I walk around to see her standing there, staring in disbelief at: her driver’s license (I am driving) and… her credit card. That’s right. No. Sam’s. Card. Stacie is now apologizing profusely, taking complete responsibility for my lemonless existence, insisting she needed to come back over and fill her car with gas anyway, and I am laughing my head off, remembering that naïve moment, 24 hours earlier, when I was in the presence of lemons, and cavalierly walked on by.
ATTEMPT FIVE: Stacie kindly sets off, without me this time, to get MY lemons. Knowing they’re for me, she just for a little second forgets that she hasn’t actually gotten back to Sam’s to get the lemons, and starts to come to my house to deliver my lemons, begins a quick U-turn in front of my house so she can actually GO to Sam’s for gas. Oh, and the lemons.
It’s really, really good ice cream. That is all I am saying.
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