[Originally published March 17, 2018]
As we embrace our divine roles as mothers, it’s natural that we will suddenly find ourselves in proper awe, respect, and gratitude for our own parents. As we serve our children in soul-stretching and sanctifying ways, we can see with fresh eyes the same service that was given to us. And suddenly, the 5th commandment to honor our parents takes on the divine mandate it should: we owe our parents everything.
As we speak of the responsibilities of family life, it’s important to remember to look in both directions, generationally. We speak incessantly of the joys of mothering - as we should - but I am in the season where I am learning the joy of ‘daughtering’.
My 87-year-old father lost his balance permanently with a life-threatening bout of meningitis 6 years ago, and while he’s not completely helpless, my 86-year-old mother does nearly everything in running their humble little home. She has had nearly constant and debilitating back pain for nearly 40 years. She also has macular degeneration, and a minor stroke several years ago has diminished the fine motor skills in her dominant left hand. She actually functions much better than all of that would suggest, but my parents’ increasing needs has made me most tenderly aware of the terror my mother feels about moving in this fast-paced world with diminished capacities.
As my parents’ needs have become greater, my opportunities to serve them have naturally increased. It’s made me realize that it’s not just an opportunity to increase service to them - it’s a duty. These are the people who gave me my life. Serving them in this last season of their lives has taught me that family life is created because of covenant connections, stretching both forward and backward into the generations.
Covenant relationships create safety. For children, going forward to future generations, it’s covenant relationships between husband and wife that provide the safety of two committed parents, and a stable, predictable home. But now, with increased service to my parents, I am learning that these covenant relationships create the same safety for the generations before us. Covenants matter because they say, very simply, “I’m not going anywhere when this gets hard.”
One day, as we were entering the grocery store, my mother was leaning heavily on my arm, and we were moving slowly to accommodate her pain. She apologized for slowing me down. A wave of gratitude washed over me. I told her, “I’m quite certain my short little legs slowed you down once upon a time, Mom - don’t you worry about it.”
What a beautiful type - coming home to serve and sacrifice for our parents, to repay them for their service and sacrifice in giving us life and raising us. And even greater - what a beautiful type - that in coming full circle back to them, we realize how much more we owe our Heavenly Parent - for the same?
-Laureen Simper (Gathering Families)
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