Come Follow Me - 1 Nephi 7-10
It seems hard to imagine that a few days could go by, and you could forget you’d seen an angel who kind of chewed you out. Or that you could forget a miraculous intervention in protecting you against a Gadianton-type big wig.
Maybe, after days of heading out of town, only to head back into town and have such an adventure - only to head back out of town, and being told to head back into town makes you cross.
1 Nephi chapter 7 is a fascinating display of human nature at its worst. It had to be stunning to Laman and Lemuel that Nephi was able to convince another good man to bring his entire family on the insane odyssey of their father.
So off they go, back out of town for the third time, and I guess something just snapped.
In verses 9-12, Nephi lays out some important things Laman and Lemuel seem to have forgotten - spiritual things they once knew:
Verse 9 - they haven’t been obedient to the things they have already received from God through the Spirit.
Verse 10 - because of disobedience, spiritual experiences they’ve had - in this case, seeing an angel! - are forgotten.
Verse 11 - because of disobedience, blessings from the Lord are either discounted, dismissed, and eventually, completely forgotten.
Verse 12 - because of disobedience, former knowledge and evidence of God’s power is also discounted, dismissed, and eventually, completely forgotten.
So, basically disobedience is like a big ol’ obliviating spell. But not entirely.
Henry B. Eyring taught:
“There is another reason why it is not easy for the proud to build on a foundation of truth. It is because the enemy of righteousness also works in little steps - steps so small that they are hard to notice if you are thinking only about yourself and how great you are. Just as truth is given to us line upon line and the light brightens slowly as we obey, even so, as we disobey, our testimony of truth lessens almost imperceptibly, little by little, and darkness descends so slowly that the proud may easily deny that anything is changing.
“I heard the boast of a man who walked away from the Church slowly. At first he just stopped teaching his Sunday School class, then he stayed away from Church, and then he forgot to pay tithing now and then. Along the way he would say to me: ‘I feel just as spiritual as I did before I stopped those things and just as much at peace. Besides, I enjoy Sundays more than I did. It’s more a day of rest.’ Or, ‘I think I’ve been blessed temporally as much or more as I was when I was paying tithing.’ He could not sense the difference, but I could. The light in his eyes and even the shine in his countenance was dimming. He could not tell, since one of the effects of disobeying God seems to be the creation of just enough spiritual anesthetic to block any sensation as the ties to God are being cut. Not only did the testimony of the truth slowly erode, but even the memories of what it was like to be in the light began to seem to him like a delusion.”
(Henry B. Eyring - “A Light Founded in Light and Truth,” BYU Devotional, August 15, 2000)
But I have a theory.
Maybe - just maybe - there are remnants of memory associated with disobedience. To the extent that when confronted with the Hagrid notion - "I should not ha' done that" - we wince a little. Maybe squirm some. Feel. Uncomfortable. And rightly so.
People too often forget that guilt is a feeling of discomfort to remind you to do it differently. Its purpose is solely to provide an impetus to repent. THAT'S. IT. When we have those feelings of discomfort, the solution isn't to remove them or any reminder of them. The solution is to pay attention.
Exhibit A from chapter 7: In verse 15 Nephi basically tells Laman and Lemuel to go ahead and go back to Jerusalem, pretty much saying, no one is holding a gun to your head. "...if ye have choice, go up to the land, and remember the words which I speak unto you, that if ye go ye will also perish..."
And that's when they really lose it.
That uncomfortable feeling in their gut - what if Nephi is right? - was strong enough to just tick them off. It just seems like people who deep down...know. They just don't WANT to know.
And there it is - the difference between a person who wishes they were obedient (see "What if Ya Just Don't Wanna?) - and a person who doesn't wish they were, but worries about the consequences anyway. Or worse, decides to have a temper tantrum and challenge reality and the inevitability of those consequences.
The crucial difference between someone who says - "I don't want to, but I wish I wanted to" - and someone who says "I don't want to, I don't want to want to, and I'm ready to fight anyone who tells me why I should want to."
This certainly explains the apoplectic conversations about good and evil these days, don't you think?
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